Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Hardest Part Of Being Sick..

Is when you get hit with something else on top of what you already have. The layers are the hard part. Right now I have what seems like a sinus infection, a sore throat, a fever, am spewing colorful mucus and I am coughing like a seal with a nice barking hack that wakes me up when I try and sleep and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. How is that for a run on sentence?

Lyme disease and co-infections alone and chronic fatigue syndrome are bad enough but when you get hit with a bug you go down fast and don't get up easily... When you live alone you wonder who is going to save you when you run out of paper products and are too sick to cook. Luckily my kind friend who I met in our now defunct local small town Lyme disease support group is going to bring me some paper products tomorrow. Thank God or I really don't know what I would do. Paper towels really don't work for TP or Kleenex.

I really feel like death warmed over and for the last three days have been forced to spend 98% of my time in bed. I know I am living in a rental with a high mold count and am in the process of taking care of the mold not that my landlords are any help they have only been part of the problem by not taking care of links in a timely manner and excuse me if I am playing the victim care for a moment but I am really not feeling well and it is not that easy moving when you don't have an income due to ill health.

Today when I really thought things could not get any worse and was having thoughts about dying from this current virus my landlord started weed whacking - not exactly healing. When he got done with that he then rode around the property on some noisy mower that resembles a tractor making even more noise. We have a giant lawn here so it went on forever or for what seemed like it. Good thing I hate guns and don't keep one. I might have had a hard time deciding if I should shoot the tires out on the mower or myself. When I get super sick I always feel like I will never get well again and like the world is coming to an end.

This disease sucks and people who don't have don't understand. I know people mean well when they say you look good but it is not really that helpful. If you don't have Lyme disease you have no idea what people with Lyme disease go through on a daily basis and how each time we catch a nasty bug that might have you down for two days we go down for eight and wonder if this might be the bug that kills us. We don't have normal immune systems.

What started to really scare me was the fact the practitioner who I am working with did not seem to be answering my desperate pleas for help. Thankfully she got back to me today. Not hearing from her was really adding to my stress level.

Thanks for listening to my whine and rant and I am now heading back to bed.

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